ATHENS CONFIDENTIAL: 10 Things to Not Do in the European Capital of Cool
Sometimes there are just too many SMH moments to count, but dammit we're gonna try
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There’s a great expression in the Balkan region which, while varying from country to country, basically translates as "tell the truth and run.” Well you could say that applies to certain American regions now, too, but anyway..
No one likes to be to told they’re not really that essential, or not really that hip. But the way we see it, especially if you’re reading this in San Francisco or Chicago, you’re about to spend probably thousands of dollars to spend even more, plus more time, in Athens or Greece and you deserve to know the truth about what is worth your time and what maybe is not. If you’re interested in the clichés, feel free to ask AI. If you’re interested in scripted experiences, feel free to migrate to Travel & Leisure (or the husk of it under the new ownership) or CNN Travel (bankrolled in part by the Turkish tourist office).
Because, it don’t matter if you’re in Athens for 24 hours or 24 days — the truth is if you listen only to what people or the Internet tell you you have to do, honey, you’re doing it all wrong. So let’s take it from the top, shall we?
#10. Do not feel obligated to climb to the top of the Acropolis.
The truth is there are some lifelong Athenians who have never been up there, which of course does not mean they haven’t seen the Acropolis or admired it from afar. Keep it real: How many New Yorkers have actually been inside the Statue of Liberty?
#9. Do not feel compelled to “do” all the ancient ruins in one go…
Because in truth, you can’t. There are simply too many, and if your idea of archaeological exploration is spending sixty seconds in front of a fractured ancient temple to take a selfie, well, there’s probably Universal Studios for that.
#8. Do not wait in line outside of a bakery, ever.
The other day my team was strolling downtown and noticed a big line had formed outside a bakery called the Ergon Bakehouse on a corner of Mitropoleos Street. We’ve tried some of their baked goods and yeah they were good if a little dry. Are there better bakeries in other cities? Even in Athens? Yes. Is Ergon a hyped brand? Yes. This reminds us of those yutzes who wait in line for cupcakes at some bakery in Greenwich Village because a scene from Sex & the City was filmed there…this is how you spend your time? And do Greeks really wait in line for fresh buns? (Um, no.)
#7. Do not stop in the middle of the street so that your pal can take a picture of you posing for Instagram. It pisses off the locals who actually have things to do and places to go.
Also applies to everywhere.
#6. Do not skip the smaller museums.
If you think Athens has only the Acropolis Museum and National Archaeological Museum, where have you been? Both are fantastic, but don’t miss out on others like the Museum of Cycladic Art or Benaki.
#5. Do not make your dining decisions based on Google Reviews.
Obviously.
#4. Do not shop at any bookstore that is not in the Plaka or Pagrati.
Any others are overhyped — trust us.
#3. Do not skip an afternoon out in Piraeus.
Historically, Athens would have been nothing without its port.
#2. Do not spraypaint anti-Israeli graffiti on public property.
Even though everybody else seems to be doing it, and the Mayor of Athens hasn’t done much to clean up the blight (despite the urging of the Minister of Tourism to do just that).
#1. Do not stay at an Airbnb.
The other day we saw some hapless Americans dragging their roller bags around a side street, looking like confused pigeons, and then fumbling with one of those obnoxious “airbnb locks” outside a frankly ugly apartment building, making some frantic phone calls, presumably to the owner. We wanted to ask them, “hey, are you really that cheap that you would come all this way and not stay at a hotel? Athens has no shortage of good ones.
And do you not care that your very presence as an Airbnb-enabler irritates the locals & keeps young Greeks from being able to rent a place of their own?
Also applies to everywhere.🌀
