New Greek xhibition gently reminds everybody that Zeus was prolly gay
That's one randy god, alright
One of our favourite museums anywhere, the Museum of Cycladic Art in Athens, is gearing up for a new show entitled “Kallos: The Ultimate Beauty" which opens Sept. 29. The exhibit is powered by French company L’Oreal and we’re not sure how we feel about that. One thing is clear, and that is neither corporate sponsorship nor creative obfuscation can hide the fact that—as evidenced by one of the 300 curated artifacts on display—Zeus, the mightiest of Greek gods, was openly probably homosexual.
One of the items on display, in the “beauty and erotic encounters” section, is a bronze folding mirror with a depiction of Zeus as an eagle snatching the comely young Ganymede to take him to Mount Olympus “to make him immortal and to ensure the young prince’s constant presence, a cup-bearer to the gods,” says the head of the Cycladic Art Museum, Sandra Marinopoulou.
“Zeus, I marvel at thy ways!” wrote the aristocratic Megarian poet Theognis. And apparently Zeus had a way with, in the words of the immortal Patsy Stone, “gorgeous underaged youths.”
Because a closer look at that bronze relief clearly reveals Zeus’s eagle claws embracing the eager young buck, whose buttocks are boldly exposed as he clutches his eagle god/sugardaddy. Sources tell us we can presume he sports no codpiece on the other side: in others words, Ganymede goes commando to Olympus or he don’t go at all. And we can also safely presume that Zeus would have commandeered the Trojan prince to do more than just serve drinks on his sacred mountain hideaway. Plato, in fact, wrote that Cretans concocted this myth to give cover to their homosexual preferences—and lest ye forget, Zeus was born in a cave in Crete.
Why is any of this relevant? Not only because Greece has an odd habit of minimizing its role as the birthplace of cultural homosexuality (compare the exuberance of a Tel Aviv gay pride celebration, for example, to its pitiful Athenian counterpart), but because in this dark new age where malakas like the Chinese are openly persecuting homosexuals it would seem that European museums owe a little something more to their patrons than gloss-overs and platitudes. Maybe L’Oreal has a problem, but erasing certain inalienable truths about ancient Greece in the name of political correctness is just not good culture.
We reached out to no one for commentary (um, it’s still summer on our calendar folks, though you can feel free to reach for whatever you want), but here’s the full press release:
“KΑLLOS. The Ultimate Beauty”
Museum of Cycladic Art in Athens
29 September 2021 to 16 January 2022
Curators:
Professor Nikolaos Chr. Stampolidis, Dr Ioannis D. Fappas
The Museum of Cycladic Art in Athens, continuing its series of ground-breaking archaeological exhibitions focusing on Man in Antiquity, and in collaboration with the Ministry of Culture and Sports, is presenting the emblematic, archaeological exhibition “KALLOS. The Ultimate Beauty”. Curated by the Director of the Museum of Cycladic Art, Professor Nikolaos Chr. Stampolidis and the Curator of Antiquities of the Museum, Dr Ioannis D. Fappas, the exhibition will run from the 29th of September 2021 until the 16th of January 2022.The exhibition will take place with the generous support of L’Oréal.
Through 300 exceptional antiquities from Museums, Ephoraetes of Antiquities and Collections in Greece and abroad, various aspects of the notion of Kállos in everyday life and philosophical discourse in ancient Greece are presented. This particularly important and large-scale exhibition will occupy all the exhibition spaces of the Museum of Cycladic Art.
The ancient Greek word Kállos essentially means beauty and is associated with both the female and the male sex. However, the concept of Kállos in its ultimate dimension is not a word signifying merely beauty. It is an ideal that was developed in ancient Greek thought, was expressed through the poems of the epic (8th century BC) and the lyric (7th – 6th century BC) poets, and from the fifth/fourth century BC onward was formulated gradually in the texts of philosophers. They describe it as a combination of the beauty of physical appearance with the virtues of the soul. The exhibition in the Museum of Cycladic Art refers to this dimension of Kállos, highlighting the contribution of ancient Greece to the definition of the meaning of “Beauty” through history.
The exhibition includes 300 antiquities from Museums, Ephoraetes of Antiquities and Collections in Greece, Italy and the Vatican, and is structured in two major sections, Beautification and Beauty.
Museum of Cycladic Art 4, Neofytou Douka str
106 74, Athens
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