RHONJ's Teresa Giudice hides out at Aman resort in Greece...but should you?
Amanzoe Resort sort of proves that fancy isn't always fabulous!
This column can exclusively reveal that Teresa Giudice of The Real Housewives of New Jersey fame recently stayed at the uber-posh Amanzoe Resort near Porto Heli, Greece. Like David Beckham before her, Giudice even made it Instagram-official:
Now the big question is this: Should you follow in Giudice’s reality-TV-star-seal-of-approval/ex-con footsteps? Before you answer consider this: Amanzoe is one of the Aman resorts, owned by Russian businessman Vladislav Doronin, who once dated Naomi Campbell and who, I repeat, is Russian. Of course you want to go all the way to Greece to stay at a wildly expensive hotel-cum-hilltop-fortress owned by some sweet, caring, generous Russian fellow! Как чудесно!
Actually to be frank and fair, the facts that a hotel is overpriced and not locally-owned should not be deterrents from booking a room at such a place. But a hotel that resembles a compound more than your idea of a resort (the American embassy ‘fortresses’ in Moscow and Cairo come to mind; not exactly welcoming boltholes those) and just achingly devoid of anything like soul just fails to charm us. Also, as any hotel connoisseur knows, sans soul there isn’t much sizzle either. We did give this place a chance, and long before the Bravo brigade showed up. We organized a day visit from Athens, not by helicopter which is really the thing to do but by means more plebeian, that is to say with a car, but stopping at the ruins of Mycenae along the way, which you can’t really do in a choppah.
Good thing we did. Because once you clear the security zone to get into Amanzoe—I’ve been to the Green Line that divides Turkish-occupied Cyprus from the Greek south and don’t remember as rigorous a security check—you are no longer in Greece or anywhere remotely connected to Greek history and culture. You are in the modern-day equivalent of Marie-Antoinette’s Hameau de la Reine, the infamous French queen’s posh but phony peasant village tucked away in the gardens of Versailles. It’s an alternate reality where the one-half percenters are welcome but pretty much nobody else. In one way or another, you are judged by your credit limit. There is an abundance of oversized, clunky architecture that would be more at home in Orange County or Palm Beach (Donald Trump Jr., where are you?) than the Peloponnese. Some landscaping. Big private villas that are, like, big private villas. Restaurant or two. Where am I, Bighorn Country Club above Indian Wells, California? Isn’t there an ancient Greek axiom that goes something like, “the more money there is, the less imagination?” (There is now!)
“You should go to a country like Greece to stir your senses and vive la Greek difference at least a little bit, not tlock yourself away in some latter day compound for the rich bitch and Goldman vampire squid hedge fund bandit set,” says our spy Rocky Blandall. “There’s Airbnb in Beverly Hills for that.”
Be warned though, an Aman resort could be coming to a once-pristine piece of land near you. I think there’s already one in that godforsaken hellhole called Utah—a state that should revert to tribal territory posthaste so that Puerto Rico can become the fiftieth state it was meant to be, no flag alterations required—and as we’ve reported something in Mykonos is in the works. So if you’re the type to equate big and Russian with glamorous and fun, well then prepare to go to town and live out that little fantasy. You’ll be as stylish and cool as Teresa Giudice, and maybe even one of the second-tier Kardashians!
Meanwhile, according to Greek newspaper Kathimerini, the new Greek Minister of Tourism Vassilis Kikilias has stated that “the 2022 tourism season will start in mid-March and urged the Germans to discover new destinations on the mainland and islands of Greece which are little known among foreign visitors but offer an authentic tourism experience.” Forget the pale Germans though: he’s sayin’ hey, there is more to Greece than big fancy hotels in places you probably already know.
A luxury resort can be part of an authentic tourism experience, make no mistake (Las Vegas, anyone?). Just not always.