The Best Little Un-Guidebook to the Curiously Divided Island of Cyprus
A short but remarkable new book is all the rage in Cyprus, despite (or because of) the fact it skewers almost everything about Cyprus
As I register this reaction to a strange and searing new fictitious literary anatomy of the Republic Cyprus, a number of Americans in Israel were being evacuated from the port city of Haifa by sea to the island that has been called the eastern Mediterranean’s unsinkable aircraft carrier. By the end of “History’s Footnote, Or, a Brief History of New Cyprus,” the island has been stripped of its government, attacked by swarms of edible songbirds, and converted into an unsinkable parking lot.
Satire, yes, but more than simple send-up too. Given the volatility of the region in the past several days but also in general, it is getting harder for imagination to keep up with reality. Author Paris Erotokritou and graphic designer Demetris Soteriou, however, both do a commendable job.
A footnote of my own before a few more words about “History’s Footnote.” It is worth recalling, at this moment in time, that in the late 1940s thousands of Jews fleeing Europe were stuck in internment camps on Cyprus because the British, who ruled the island as the colonial power, was not keen on facilitating their transit to what was then called Mandatory Palestine. Some of that drama is portrayed in the 1960 film “Exodus,” starring Paul Newman and Eva Marie Saint.
The irony is that now many people are clamoring to go in the opposite direction. As of Monday Cyprus had received 26 requests from 26 countries for support in transporting foreign nationals currently in Israel or Gaza to their home countries via the island, a government spokesman said.
By the end of “History’s Footnote, Or A Brief History of New Cyprus,” the Cypriot port of Limassol has been replaced by Limassol Tempus, a mini-Dubai style enclave on an imaginary island supposed to be somewhere off the coast of Japan.
A few more words about the plot: an island mafia boss, Mr. Theoharous, is furious because the Cyprus president is threatening to put an end to his thriving but illegal trade in edible songbirds (in real life, millions of songbirds migrate south from Europe to Africa every winter, flying over Cyprus, where many consider them to be delicacy, especially when served pickled).
Meanwhion another island in the Japanese archipelago, a heartbroken geneticist, Gakuji Nakamoto, has cloned himself to win back the love of his life, Saiko. Abandoning his native Japan (and his failed clone), Gakuji seeks a new life in Cyprus.
But instead of that he finds Mr. Theoharous, who enlists him to clone a multitude of songbirds with a view to turning a tidy profit. It ends, though, in an ecological calamity that more or less obliterates the island, the titular New Cyprus being established in its place in the Pacific. Along the way there is a rogue’s gallery of characters that rippingly parodies everyone from bent politicians and their atavistic schemes to cling to power to artistically bankrupt arts festivals like the made-up “Cyprus Performance Art Festival.”
For that cultural extravaganza its director, the invented Lady Macbeth-esque Dr. Leoni Tziavouzi-Lindengart, commissions Mr. Theoharous’s son to showcase his “critically acclaimed piece, ‘Shitty Dad,’ which for her “resonates with the thoughts and worries of a large part of our native as well as migrant/immigrant population.”
Mr. Erotokritou packs a lot of first-rate ridiculing into these 146 pages, in which text is interwoven with Mr. Soteriou’s illustrations to create a kind of swooping urban graffiti immersion effect. This is fitting, because as current events illustrate Cyprus is a crossroads of cultures that as an entrepôt if nothing else has withstood the test of time.
The tragic part is that, at least in its present political iteration, it is a badly fractured state, with the northern third of the island occupied by Turkey since a 1974 invasion and its capital, Nicosia, the last divided capital in Europe. Reunification of the island has proved elusive, not least because there are so many parties involved: not only Cypriots but also the guarantor powers, Greece, Turkey, and Great Britain.
What this short book brings to light, shot through with very dark humor reminiscent of “Black Mirror”, is that some people might not actually want a solution to the longstanding Cyprus Problem — in fact, the author seems to suggest that more than a few island pols on both sides of the UN buffer zone stake their longevity on perpetuating it.
Here again, current events mirror fiction. This week, as hundreds of people were transiting through this Mediterranean “aircraft carrier” to flee the combustible Middle East, a prominent member of Cyprus’s Green party resigned in part over what she deemed her party’s “dead-end position on the Cyprus issue.”
That Cypriot lawmaker, Alexandra Attalidou, also said that her party had “contributed to the election of a politician who was widely seen as a continuation of the Anastasiades government.” She was referring to the relationship of the current president, Nikos Christodoulides, to his predecessor, Nicos Anastasiades, who has faced accusations of financial shenanigans and old-fashioned corruption.
Mr. Anastasiades also once hosted Joe Biden, then Vice President, and his wife for a private dinner at his residence near Limassol with no media present, but that is another story. Fast forward to this week as Cyprus is once again thrust into the spotlight by events unfolding a short distance across the wine-dark sea. Who was pictured next to Mr. Christodoulides at a Monday meeting of the Cyprus national council to deal with the impact of the war occurring farther east? Lo and behold the former president, Mr. Anastasiades.
While few doubt that President Obama has an open line to the Oval Office today, the idea of him being physically present at any kind of crisis meeting at the White House is inconceivable. In Cyprus today, though, this kind of thing appears to be the norm. That does not make the country, which after all still hosts two British sovereign bases and turns out some fine red wine and halloumi cheese, a laughing stock.
It does make it ripe for some more scrutiny here and a bit of ruthless satire there, and this little book ticks both those boxes. The bold illustrations, all done up in tones of black, white, and orange, amplify a depth of perception that is entirely absent in, say, a traditional travel guide.
These pages are also peppered with 74 footnotes, a number consciously chosen by the author to recall 1974, the year of the second Turkish invasion — the first having occurred in 1571.
One of those footnotes makes mordant reference to the time a couple decades ago when Cyprus hosted the Miss Universe pageant. This correspondent remembers seeing footage of that underwhelming spectacle which was staged live in the island that is, after all, the mythical birthplace of the goddess of love, Aphrodite.
It is clear that Mr. Erotocritou, who is also a theater director, loves his homeland — scars and all. As with most great satire there is in “History’s Footnote” a tear or two of bitterness, but also, more than a soupçon of lament.